Wednesday, January 27, 2010

I'm back!

This is my first week back. It is hard.

Monday was especially challenging. First, we got a new student while I was out. It is a new student who already faced so many difficult issues in his life and he does not have a way of dealing with them. He is on some pretty heavy duty medication and has some non desirable and aggressive behaviors. So it is always lovely to come back to that. Second, it seems like some of the other students were either thrown off by my absence, thrown off by the arrival of the new student, or missed the structure. I felt thoroughly exhausted by 10 am on Monday and the day was not even half over. Students who are normally great students, students who typically serve as examples for other students seemed to be testing me, to see if I still meant what I said, to see if the rules still stood. The students who typically benefit from the modeling of the other students were down right nutty, defiant, and at times unsafe. At home Monday night, I was exhausted and overly emotional but riled up and unable to sleep.

When I got up yesterday, I felt worse than I did on Monday, probably due to lack of sleep. Yesterday was better though. For starters, no one threw a chair when they were upset. I felt more organized and prepared. The students who typically model good behavior went back to that version of themselves. I will start a new behavior plan this morning for one of my students who seems to be having a very difficult time.

Hopefully, each day continues to get a little better. One day at a time...

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