"What are the police doing here?"

This is what my students asked at the end of the day as we filed outside for dismissal. It was an interesting question. Typically a squad car is parked on the main road in front of our building. Today, in addition to that car, there was one parked literally on the black top of our school yard, right under the steps from the main entrance. Since there were no announcements or memos sent around during the school day about any potentially dangerous situations, I had no idea. I explained that the police were there to help everyone stay safe.

After I spoke with a few parents, I had two left who were either waiting to go home or go to after school. What follows are some of their thoughts and experiences about police.

Student 1: The police put people in juvie.

( Yes I asked him if he knew what juvie was, and yes, he did provide an accurate explanation, and yes, he is five years old)

Student 2: When I am in the car with my mom and we see a police car, she always asks me if I have my seat belt on. She never wears hers, only when we see the police. (I interjected here with comments about seat belts and how they keep people safe in the car) Oh yeah, my mom says she does not need no ticket.

Student 1: When the police are not looking, my mom puts the car on two wheels and makes it spins around really fast. It is awesome, like in the movies.

Student 2: So if I started kicking you really hard and doing bad stuff, what would happen, would I go to juvie?

Our lovely discussion was interrupted by Student 1 leaving with his family and Student 2 going to after school. I know so many of my students and the students in our building have negative perceptions of police officers and some of that is largely due to the negative experiences of their family members or neighbors. It troubles me though. I want them to know that police can help people, that if they were ever in trouble and needed help, they could ask a police officer. My messages about the police stand in sharp contrast to their perceptions though.

Still kind of difficult

So it was my second week back after a long absence and I find that it is still hard to get through the day. One of my coworkers apparently did not notice that I actually returned last week. One of my student's parents approached me in a confrontational manner about my absence. She started with "oh, I wasn't sure you were coming back". I responded with " Hi, it's nice to see you too." She then wanted to know what I had and why I had to be out for so long. She wanted to know if it was contagious and I assured her that my medical team would not allow me back to work if I was putting myself or others in harm's way. The conversation ended with her explaining that during my absence she called my principal to ask what I had ( hello, hippa, how are are you? Oh, hi confidentiality!) and that she was thinking of transferring her child. At this point, I really did not have to much more to say to this woman and I worked hard to tell her NOT to tell her that it was still not too late to transfer her child.

I talked with our building rep who spoke to another union person about some of my employment options for next year and how I go about implementing those options.

Some of the days were easier than others and overall, I worked hard to make it through the week. It was a long week with my students. Some of the behavior from last week seemed to have lessened a little in intensity and some had not.

5 more get ups until school break!

The rest of the week

Wednesday morning was okay. In the afternoon, I had an IEP meeting that was less than stellar. There were at least 15 people present. One of the people representing the student's parents pounced on every word that came out of my mouth. She even went so far to imply that I looked tanned when the subject of my absence came up. It took every ounce of self control in my body not to strangle her. Sips of water, deep breaths, count backwards from 100... She interrupted everyone, dragging the meeting on and on. I wanted to tell her to shut up and actually listen to what people were saying instead of blurting something out every five minutes, to open a child development book, or better yet, find an article that lists the characteristics of a person with autism. After 90 minutes, I left. It was the end of the school day and my para needed help with my students at dismissal. I did not go back either as I had to scoot to a doctor's appointment.

Thursday was better and nothing too remarkable happened, thankfully. The kids were very excited to go outside for recess the few times that we were actually able to get out this week.

Friday morning when Mr. K1teacher woke me up, I was thoroughly confused and exhausted, thinking it was Saturday. After getting dressed and having breakfast, I snoozed on the couch. I certainly should have stayed there as the day only went down hill from there. It included a frustrating conversation with my principal, getting head-butted in the abdomen by an older student, and helping a colleague to restrain a physically dangerous student while other teachers stood by and watched. It was a full moon though, so hopefully things will be slightly less crazy tomorrow.

I'm back!

This is my first week back. It is hard.

Monday was especially challenging. First, we got a new student while I was out. It is a new student who already faced so many difficult issues in his life and he does not have a way of dealing with them. He is on some pretty heavy duty medication and has some non desirable and aggressive behaviors. So it is always lovely to come back to that. Second, it seems like some of the other students were either thrown off by my absence, thrown off by the arrival of the new student, or missed the structure. I felt thoroughly exhausted by 10 am on Monday and the day was not even half over. Students who are normally great students, students who typically serve as examples for other students seemed to be testing me, to see if I still meant what I said, to see if the rules still stood. The students who typically benefit from the modeling of the other students were down right nutty, defiant, and at times unsafe. At home Monday night, I was exhausted and overly emotional but riled up and unable to sleep.

When I got up yesterday, I felt worse than I did on Monday, probably due to lack of sleep. Yesterday was better though. For starters, no one threw a chair when they were upset. I felt more organized and prepared. The students who typically model good behavior went back to that version of themselves. I will start a new behavior plan this morning for one of my students who seems to be having a very difficult time.

Hopefully, each day continues to get a little better. One day at a time...

Personal Info

So I am still hopeful that I will be able to go back to work eventually. I want to keep this space for my work ideas and experiences. I have created a new blog devoted to the pregnancy. You can find it here http://pregnanttanya.blogspot.com/

Long Overdue

I haven't blogged in a quite a while. I haven't been in school in quite a while either. I missed a week of work in December and have not been back since the holiday break. My husband and I found out in November that I am pregnant with our first child. I have been basically quite sick since right after Thanksgiving. I am hoping things get better for me soon so I can get back to teaching! Until then, I would appreciate warm thoughts and prayers.

They are thankful too

After reading the book "Thanksgiving is for Giving Thanks" by Margaret Sutherland and Sonja Lamut to my students, I asked them to think, draw and write about what they were thankful for. Many students said that they were thankful for their mothers. A few said he was thankful for his new baby sister. One said that he was thankful for his house. One was thankful for her whole family. One student was even thankful for her teachers.

This is the first year that nobody mentioned their gaming system or spider man toys.