Winding down

There was a staff meeting after an early release day today. I was looking to my principal for inspiration, motivation, and possibly a little encouragement. No such look. His agenda included teacher lay offs and involuntary transfers. He touched on preliminary state testing scores. He talked about the difference between our school, the district and the state as a whole. He complained that many teachers are not involved and invested in their school community. Just when I thought things couldn't get any better, he likened teaching in our building to teaching in a third world country. Swell.


Tomorrow is the last day of school. I will try to be less cynical and more reflective and optimistic.

"My Kids"

Often times, when I am speaking to other people about my students, I say "my kids". The people I talk to often enough seem to understand that I am not referring to any biological children that they did not know about.

Yesterday we had some friends over and I was sharing some story from school that began with "My kids..." I don't talk to the person too often though because of crazy busy schedules. She stopped me at the first sentence of my story to ask "What kids?" I laughed and explained that I was talking about the kids at school.

I understand that they all have parents and that some of them have excellent parents. But I also feel that I am responsible for them for 30 contact hours a week and the responsibility does not end when the school bell rings. Did they get home safely? Will they have bright futures and have I given them more than enough high quality instruction to set them on their way? Will they be able to eat over the weekend? So while I am not their biological or adopted parent, I still feel great responsibility towards them, a great sense of pride in their accomplishments, and an overall loving feeling.

If you teach, what do you call the people who sit in front of you every day?Students, children, kids, learners?

slow and steady progress

Here is what is done:
all narratives!
all progress reports!
The annual review report and meeting
In class observation has been scheduled, canceled, and tentatively rescheduled
Letter written to parents requesting crab adoption and one interested response
Summer packets are all assembled
student gift bags are assembled
Ms. S's end of year extravaganza has been finished
students have been rehearsing for their performance
I finally started packing the classroom
gather necessary documentation for potential meeting for amendment to IEP


Here is what is left:
make end of year certificates for students
pack up the entire classroom and lug personal belongings home ( to avoid theft)
clean basement to make space for personal belongings

Z is not for school

The last letter of the alphabet is for zoo. This past week, my school has resembled a zoo more than a school.

One of my students left last Friday. His mom decided that daycare would be better for him. While I am not against day care in general, I was slightly offended. I understand that people need to work and that daycares offer longer hours than a public school. I also understand that people act in what they think is the best interest for their child. However, the student has significant needs that cannot be met in a daycare setting. Mom told me about an before the end of the school day, so much for a proper farewell. Additionally, the mother indicated that she is not sure if he will be back in the fall. I feel bad and the student only started last month so I was still getting to know him.

Then another one of my students showed up after missing three weeks of school. I had called the parent several times during this period of time but I did not hear back from her. I assumed that the parent had started summer vacation earlier. So the mother and daughter paraded in this morning much to my surprise. I talked with the mother, who denied receiving any messages from me. She explained how ill her child was, how the child was feeling much better, and how she brought her in today so she could participate in our end of year celebration, which is not today but the mother did not know that because the child has not been in school.

When I took the child to the bathroom, I noticed a rash on her leg that looked suspicious. On our way to the nurse, i noticed a half dollar size bump on the student's wrist. The nurse told me that she couldn't look at the rash because she "can't just go around pulling down students' pants." I explained that I understood her concerns and that I would stay in the room while she examined the child. She refused. That is ridiculous to me, but she did decide to call about the bump. In the meantime, the student and several others went to speech therapy. A few minutes after the group left, they came back. The student who was out for illness was apparently still quite ill! So back to the nurse for this poor little girl. It took her mother an hour to get to school, and then she wanted to know details about the vomit, what it looked like, what the consistency was, and how many ounces. What difference does it male? The child is sick and needs to go home.

Finally, despite having 5 days of school left, many of my colleagues are already done. There rooms are already packed and students are sitting on the floor on small carpet squares. I have started packing things that students won't be using. My room is still functioning as a classroom. Yes we are starting to relax a little, but we are still learning. What are those kids going to do for the next 5 days? Oh, did you say run wild through the building? If you did then congratulations, you guessed correctly. Throughout the day today, the principal was paging runaway students back to their classroom. So instead of leaving the office to look for these students and supporting the teachers, he pages the students back to their classrooms.

This time of year is challenging for many reasons. I am struggling to keep my cool wit various adults. Currently, I am very thankful that today is Friday and I am hoping that Monday brings calm to the building and a little more peace to me.

Updating and making progress on the to- do list

Here is what is done:
6 of the 8 narratives
The annual review report and meeting
In class observation has been scheduled, canceled, and tentatively rescheduled
Letter written to parents requesting crab adoption and one interested response
Summer packets are all assembled
student gift bags are assembled
Ms. S's end of year extravaganza has been finished
students have been rehearsing for their performance
I finally started packing the classroom


Here is what is left:
2 narratives
6 progress reports (this is really not in my contol, so I am trying not to fret about it)
gather necessary documentation for potential meeting for amendment to IEP
make end of year certificates for student
pack up the entire classroom and lug personal belongings home ( to avoid theft)
clean basement to make space for personal belongings

Still it feels very overwhelming. I am so much better at UNpacking than I am at packing. I like setting things up and getting organized. I like beginnings more than endings. I struggle most with the packing this time of the year.

Beautiful Butterflies

I posted earlier about the slow process of the metamorphosis of the caterpillars in our classroom.

All 6 butterflies finally emerged from their chrysalises. The first two emerged during the school day. When the students arrived in the morning, we had six chrysalises. After lunch two butterflies had popped out, blending in very well with the sticks and leaves that were in their habitat. Still my students were able to spot them and were very excited.

Two more popped out over night and the final two took their sweet time and made us wait until we returned to school on Monday. The colorings and strength of their wings intensified each day that they were out. The butterflies gradually began to become more active and get stronger with each day.

I had been anxiously eying the weather, waiting for a sunny day. Our literature in the classroom indicated that the butterflies were more likely to fly if it was sunny outside when they were released. Also we were starting to hit time constraints. The school year ends in seven more school days, there is no school in our district tomorrow, and butterflies don't have an exceptionally long life span. So when the weather started to improve today, I scrapped our prior plans and headed outside with 6 butterflies and 11 children in tow.

We read a story about butterflies and how they grow. I explained to the children that we had started off with small caterpillars, then we had very large caterpillars, then chrysalises and now adult butterflies. They wanted to know what the butterflies would do when we let them free. We talked about how female butterflies lay eggs. Someone told me that he eats eggs. All were eager and some were slightly cautious, unsure of what would happen.

I gently opened their habitat and the first one was out and about, fluttering first around me and the students and then taking off to the right of where we were sitting. The next four out of the habitat also fluttered to the right. The last one was reluctant to the leave the habitat and actually perched on my finger for several minutes and let the students touch it. It was so still that I was worried it may not fly. Then once all of the students stepped back, the butterfly took off! It was the only one to fly to the left. One of my students remarked "it took a different path than all the others".

This has been a valuable learning experience for both me and my students, but I was touched by her remark about the different path. This year has taken me down a different path, with a new teaching assistant, new students, and different needs than in past years. The butterfly made me think: which kind of butterfly are you, one who follows others, or one who makes her own choices? Are you bold enough to let possible predators tenderly touch you or are you scared and flee as quickly as possible? And finally, just like with the butterflies, I was unable to predict the paths of all my students this year. Some proved my first impressions completely wrong and others proved them mostly right, with a few interesting, unpredicted twists and turns along the way.

Iamge for this post was found here

Getting there

Checking off items, slowly, from the daunting to do list.

Here is what is done:
2 of the 8 narratives
The annual review report
In class observation has been scheduled
Letter written to parents requesting crab adoption
Summer packets are almost all assembled

(That is good for one day)

Here is what is left:
6 narratives
6 progress reports
gather necessary documentation for potential meeting for amendment to IEP
make end of year certificates for student
assemble and gather materials for student gift baskets
finish Ms. S' end of year present
help students rehearse for performance
pack up the entire classroom and lug personal belongings home ( to avoid theft)
clean basement to make space for personal belongings


Contrary to popular belief, I am not all that organized, or at least I don't feel that way. Writing it down doesn't mean I'm any better at the task or any closer to being able to do it, it just means that I can sleep at night without a gargantuan to- do list keeping me awake. It means I can cross things off the list, which brings about its own satisfaction. It means I can try to plan accordingly, and balance my time.

This is the first year that I remember feeling so much better at the beginning of the year then at the end. I know people get tired around the end of the school year and so I am not beating myself up too much. I feel really scattered and hoping it passes.

Feeling Crabby?

Last week a coworker asked me to watch her class crabs for one day. She was going to be absent and worried about the safety of the pets while she was away. I figured one day wouldn't be so bad, it would be manageable for me and exciting for my students, especially since we had just finished our unit on things that grow. A quick trip to the local library supplied me with some age appropriate books on those friendly little crustaceans. The are kids are excited and look through the books, trying to find a match for the specific species we are babysitting. They are thirsty for information and together we went about gathering facts and making observations.

I was ready to give them back and the kids understood that the crabs were "just visiting" our class. One full week later, the teacher is back from her absence, and has been back now for several days. She does not want them back. Lucky me. I just wish she was honest and had said something like " oh the science department gave me sand crabs and I really don't want them, are you interested?" So a bit frustrated, I set out to find the science teacher, who was nice enough to tell me that I had been duped. He reluctantly came in and shared some crab food, knowledge, and salt water with us.

The crabs, in case any of you wanted to know, with one large pincer and one small one are the males. The ones with two small pincers are the females.

Oh yes, and then there is the humor in the situation. Some of my students enjoy higher end cuisine like lobsters, and knew that crabs could be eaten. Many other students were excited about most about this fact and proceeded to sit in front of the crab tank staring at the crabs, and salivating slightly while they rubbed their stomachs and thought about a really interesting school lunch. I insisted that the animal were pets and therefore, definitely NOT food. "uh yes, hi Mr. So and So, your daughter ate one of classroom pets and I think she needs to go home" is not a phone call I want to make.

So with 11 days left in the school year, I am hoping to find a family in my class who wants to adopt them. Else wise my last day of school plans will involve a trip to the beach.

End of year to do list

There are 11 school days left of the school year. In addition to planning challenging and engaging curriculum for my students, there are several other items on my to do list. It is my sincerest hope that by writing them down here, I can get organized and tackle them, rather than feel over whelmed.

In no particular order:
8 end of year narratives to write
6 progress reports
1 annual review report
gather necessary documentation for potential meeting for amendment to IEP
schedule an in class observation with yet another district person on a specific student
make end of year certificates for students
assemble student work packets for summer
assemble and gather materials for student gift baskets
finish Ms. S' end of year present
help students rehearse for performance
write letter to parents requesting someone to adopt our class crabs
pack up the entire classroom and lug personal belongings home ( to avoid theft)
clean basement to make space for personal belongings

ok well that looks like plenty of work...stay tuned for updates

A little soap and water would go along way

Last Wednesday 32 kids were out sick. Last Thursday, 47 kids were out sick, Last Friday 60 kids. This past Monday 124 were either out sick or sent home early. Yesterday, 120 and 115 today. The children seemed afraid of the Swine flu.

One girl was running through the school yard screaming for someone to stay away from her. Her fingers were crossed and she kept looking over her shoulder. When I talked to her, she said that someone was trying to give her swine flu, so she needed to keep her fingers crossed so she didn't get. When I was in school, people had "cooties" and we sang to ward of unwanted germs and creepiness:
"Circle, circle, dot, dot,
Now I have my cootie shot"
For those of you who are not familiar with this rhyme, more info can be found here.


But my childhood schoolyard days are over and I am now the adult in the school yard. I explained that if she did not want to get sick, she should wash her hands with soap and water and stay away from people who are sick. She looked at me for awhile and then asked if "We got soap now downstairs?"

Sad and angry

It makes me enormously sad to know that I care more for some of the children in my classroom than their own parents do. Maybe, in some cases, it is not that I care more, but differently. That's fine, but in some other cases I think I really do care more for them.

How can you send your child to school without changing her diaper in the morning when she woke up?

How can you send her to school with a mini skirt that has been stitched up to make it even shorter?

How can you send him in and ask the teacher to monitor his temperature all day because the child has not been feeling well?

Why am I the only one who cleans the crust of his face?

These things worry, enrage and sadden me. I guess I can't understand because I am not a parent yet. Sometimes I wonder if I am expending all of my caring capacity in caring for other people's children. Sometimes I worry about the students when they go home for the weekend or a school vacation. What if their next teacher doesn't care as much? And other times, I am just angry. I try so hard not to be. I try to look at the situation from the point of view of the parents. I try but sometimes I fail.

When I am all emotional like this, I also get confused. Are my emotions and care for the students impeding my ability to teach them? Or is it the opposite, that my care and concern for them ignites the passion to teach them and teach them well? I don't know. I do know that I am tired. Tired of feeling as if I am caring more for them, even if it is not true.

Kudos to the OTHER parents. The parents who work hard and set good examples for their children. The parents who communicate regularly with school and advocate on their child's behalf. The parents who nurture their children and provide for their basic needs. Kudos to them, I know they are out there!